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flip the problem

flip the problem

March 2020
If you want a better wife, be a better husband.

I am not 100% sure where I heard the above, I wish I could recall but it stuck with me. 

I’d imagine if you’re human there have been times when you had wished someone else would act in a different way, and while there’s a way to handle such externalities, that’s not likely to  help you now

So what do you do? 

You flip the problem

Want a better boss? Be a better employee.
Want a better friend? Be a better friend.

There are of course examples where no matter what you do, you can be “better” yet it doesn’t change the relationship with the counterparty, but the simple act of internalising what you can control has been very helpful for me over time. Am I great at it? No. Does it help me get out of fixed mindset thinking every time? Yes. This has helped me plenty of times. 

If this resonates, I suggest you read the note on Anger as well.

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